


Welcome to Dumbass City

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, Fluff, Funny, Group chat, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 02:31:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15063080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Father: please stop pressing f for respects just let the man dieKarasuno made a group chat and its a hot ass mess.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Usernames!!!!  
> Hinata: Tiny Giant Kin  
> Kageyama: please say sike  
> Tanaka: punk ass bitch  
> Suga: suuuuugga  
> Yamaguchi: Yama Yama  
> Tsukishima: Tsukishima  
> Asahi: Anxious on Main  
> Daichi: Father  
> Noya: sanic  
> Kiyoko: Harold…  
> Yachi: yacchan!!  
> Ennoshita: enno-shit-a  
> Kinoshita: press f for respects  
> Narita: oh worm?
> 
> More characters will be added into the fic later on

Tiny Giant Kin: hey I made this group chat for volleyball :333333

please say sike: Hinata........... I fucking hate your username please change it

Tiny Giant Kin: >:3333333

please say sike: **_then perish_ **

Tiny Giant Kin: >:(((((((((

punk ass bitch: oh sexy????

Father: h

Father: I can't tell if you're Tanaka or Nishinoya

sanic: how dare you????

punk ass bitch: what do you mean how dare you???????? It's a compliment bitch

Father: I still can't tell please tell me who you are……

suuuuugga: Oh cool!!!!! Nice thinking Hinata

punk ass bitch: I'm Tanaka senpai uwu

sanic: noya bitch

Father: I don't know why, but I feel like I'm gonna die here

suuuuugga: You’ll be fine Tsukishima is here

Tsukishima: damn right I am bitch

Tsukishima: and I'm muting this chat so see you later bitches

Tiny Giant Kin: :((((((((

Yama Yama: Tsukki…..

punk ass bitch: rest in piss Yamaguchi

Tsukishima: **what the fuck did you just tell him to do?????**

sanic: correction- rest in piss Tanaka

press f for respects: oh hey its Kinoshita

press f for respects: also

press f for respects: f

sanic: f

Tiny Giant Kin: f

Harold…: f

yacchan!!: idk what's going on but

yacchan!!: f

please say sike: ……

Tiny Giant Kin: kageyama be respectful of the dead

please say sike: f

Anxious on Main: f

Father: please stop pressing f for respects just let the man die

punk ass bitch: why are you booing me?????? I'm gay!!!!

Oh worm?: oh worm…..

enno-shit-a: oh good morning terrible life choices how are u

sanic: I'm good I had soda for breakfast

enno-shit-a: oh that's so great to hear

Father: please at LEAST eat a granola bar Nishinoya

sanic: no

suuuuugga: Eat Bitch™

sanic: hhhhmmmmm perhaps

enno-shit-a: eat

sanic: ok

punk ass bitch: tmdkdkflsmfalfkakfkskfkskf

Tiny Giant Kin: wrow u really are gay on main

please say sike: did you just fucking say ‘wrow'??????

Tiny Giant Kin: Kenma….. He's been rubbing off :(((((((((

punk ass bitch: anyone else chugging their respecting & loving Kiyoko juice??????

sanic: bro when am I not downing that shit????

punk ass bitch: fuck u right bro…….

Harold…: <3

punk ass bitch: _I'm so fucking blessed I_ <3

 **sanic** _changed the chat name to_ **loving kiyoko hour**

punk ass bitch: bro….. You took the words right out of my mouth….

sanic: it's what she deserves

sanic: its wlw/mlm solidarity

punk ass bitch: g o d you **absolute UNIT**

Tiny Giant Kin: am I an absolute unit????

punk ass bitch: of fucking course

Father: yeah!!

Tiny Giant Kin: :DDDDDDDD

please say sike: you have one of the best spikes in the league (thanks to me) of course you're an absolute unit

suuuuugga: that was almost a full complement?????

Anxious on Main: **@Father** ……. Look at your son….. He's growing

Father: **_holy shit_ **

Giant Tiny Kin: I think I'm actually gonna cry….. Kageyama I'm so????? <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Yama Yama: you know what this is????? Growth

please say sike: why are you guys so surprised I compliment Hinata all the time

Tsukishima: you can't even tell him that he made a good fucking spike what universe are you living in

punk ass bitch: ^^^^^^^^^^

sanic: hes right

enno-shit-a: hes right

Anxious on Main: he's right

Oh worm?: he's right and he should continue to say it

Yama Yama: hes not wrong

Tsukishima: I'm not wrong

please say sike:

Tiny Giant Kin: KAGEYAMA LEMME SMASH

Anxious on Main: hello???????? Hello god????

sanic: GNGLSLGMWMTMAMTMS

Father: Hinata……..

Tiny Giant Kin: I WANNA SPIKE

Tsukishima: **_Please think before you speak_ **

please say sike: you may spike it. **Once**

punk ass bitch: g o d I love this fucking time line

Tsukishima: I don't

Yacchan!!: would you rather have them fighting???

Tsukishima: h

Tsukishima: You know what? Check mate

punk ass bitch: not to be random but???????

punk ass bitch: hey fellas is it gay to want to eat ur broski's ass

please say sike: **_i don't know how to leave group chats so please fucking ban me I never want to look at shit like this ever again_ **

tsukishima: I agree with this bitch PLEASE fucking ban me

sanic: FNSKGKWLTKWLTKWLTKWOTO

Father: to answer your question- yes that's fucking gay

Father: secondly- tanaka I'm so disappointed in you

punk ass bitch: god anything but that

punk ass bitch: _father……. Father i'll be better….._

punk ass bitch: **pLEASE FATHER**

suuuuugga: h

punk ass bitch: dad…..

suuuuugga: son…… you did it to me

punk ass bitch: **dad in so fucking sorry**

enno-shit-a: *sighs deeply*

punk ass bitch: **PAPA NOT YOU TOO**

Tsukishima: I always knew you were the family disappointment

punk ass bitch: its the homophobia

Yama Yama: can I put out a Hot Take™?????

Tsukishima: you are allowed one yes

Yama Yama: some fursona’s are cute

 **Tsukishima** _has left the chat_

punk ass bitch: ntkekrqkntkqtnqktjwktnwkrj

sanic: I mean, that's certainly valid

Anxious on Main: I heard fursonas??????

Father: asahi…….. Asahi no….

Anxious on Main: :_((((((((

sanic: now he's sad!!!!! Look what you did u talk ass bitch!!!!

punk ass bitch: asahi is a gentle boy be nice to him!!!!!

 **Yama Yama** _added_ **Tsukishima** _to the chat_

suuuuugga: Asahi’s fursona is valid Daichi

Father: fuck ur right in so sorry Asahi

Anxious on Main: :))))))

enno-shit-a: everything is less chaotic without Hinata here

Yama Yama: u say that like he's dead

Tsukishima: :))))))))))

Yama Yama: **_Tsukki no_ **

suuuuugga: hhhhhhhhhh don't like that

Yacchan: he's alive they're just practicing rn!!!!! Fnsmfksktkwkfkwlfk

Tiny Giant Kin: y'all……. Y'all I'm

Yama Yama: what

Tiny Giant Kin: I'm such a soft bitch rn idk why

Tiny Giant Kin: I feel like that kermit image surrounded by the hearts where he's laying on the bed

Tiny Giant Kin: that's my aura rn

punk ass bitch: I can't handle Hinata being soft im leaving @ me when he's back to normal

Oh worm?: same

suuuuugga: Hinata when did u start feeling soft as fuck???

Tiny Giant Kin: when I smashed

suuuuugga: I'm vnemtmemtmaktkd

Yama Yama: hinatjsjtmsfkksfk

Tsukishima: Jesus fucking christ

Tiny Giant Kin: at least I'm not into Homestuck

Tsukishima: wh

Yama Yama: how did you know Tsukki was into Homestuck

Tiny Giant Kin: I saw his shirt he ain't that slick

sanic: yeah I recognized it too ://////

Tiny Giant Kin: anyways when will someone give me cuddles :((((((((((

Yama Yama: oh worm????????

suuuuugga: yea that's a big mood

sanic: this is so sad Alexa play Naruto opening 16

Yama Yama: tkskgkskgkwkgkwkfkr

suuuuugga: wait are you and Kageyama done training?????

Tiny Giant Kin: yeah we’re walking home rn

suuuuugga: we have practice today…..

Tiny Giant Kin: no we don't

Tsukishima: yea we have practice today, right Yamaguchi?

Yams Yama: Tsukki they're like halfway home don't lie to them like this

Tsukishima: ur no fun

Tiny Giant Kin: I was ready to pedal all the way back there fndkgksltfjskdk

punk ass bitch: rest in piss Tsukishima

Tsukishima: **_when will you learn. That YOUR WORDS HAVE CONSEQUENCES_ **

punk ass bitch: sorry let me correct myself

punk ass bitch: **_Tsukishima perish challenge_ **

sanic: bro that's so rude but like….. Kinda hot

punk ass bitch: *slaps your ass* thanks broski

sanic: broseph not in front of dad ;))))))

Father: hinata give me mod powers

Tiny Giant Kin: ok

 **Father** _has kicked_ **punk ass bitch** _from the chat_

 **Father** _has kicked_ **sanic** _from the chat_

Yama Yama: direction action......


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its 1 am and they're all messes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username updates  
> Hinata: Tiny Giant Kin  
> Kageyama: please say sike  
> Tanaka: punk ass bitch  
> Suga: suuuuugga  
> Yamaguchi: Yama Yama  
> Tsukishima: Tsukishima -> Tsukki-Kun  
> Asahi: Anxious on Main  
> Daichi: Father  
> Noya: sanic -> naruto is gay  
> Kiyoko: Harold…  
> Yachi: yacchan!!  
> Ennoshita: enno-shit-a  
> Kinoshita: press f for respects  
> Narita: oh worm?  
> Kenma: owo kenma uwu

punk ass bitch: My dream date?????? Getting locked in an Ikea at midnight with my s/o. We cuddle in one of the show case bedrooms watching naruto on my phone. Then we raid the Ikea cafe and eat a shit load of meatballs. After that we push each other down the ikea halls in the shopping carts and chill in the kids area. We go back to the showcase area and chill in a different bedroom and fall asleep. We set an alarm to go off 2 hours before the store opens and go and grab breakfast and then hide in the bathroom until the store opens and we leave

Tsukishima:  **_its one am and I don't give a shit please shut ur fucking mouth_ **

Yama Yama: I'm more of a hunting ghosts in an 711 overnight and holding hands with the other person while pretending to be scared kind of bitch

punk ass bitch: that's certainly valid

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi please don't encourage him

Yama Yama: Tsukki hes an upperclassmen  I have no effect on his behavior

Tsukishima: fuck so I gotta deal with this shit every night??????

Tiny Giant Kin: this what group chats are for

Tsukishima: not sleeping?????????

Tiny Giant Kin: fwiends uwu

Tsukishima: h

Tiny Giant Kin: sorry Kenya’s rubbing off on me :////////

Tiny Giant Kin: anyways my dream date would probably like. Stargazing in a park!!!! With like a picnic!!!!

punk ass bitch: oh??? that's cute 

sanic: okay stay with me for a second but-

sanic: running around an abandoned golf course. We have a picnic and run around in the ground and scream sing about naruto. The sprinklers turn on and we kiss like its in the rain, but its not because it's the sprinklers

punk ass bitch: oh nice-  **wait**

punk ass bitch:  _ hold on a fucking minutes _

punk ass bitch:  **_that's just the date Troy and Gabriella have in high school musical 2?????????? Plus naruto????_ **

sanic: yeah……

sanic: it was romantic don't shit on my dick

punk ass bitch:  **@Tsukishima** dream date now

Tsukishima: I don't know?????? Like watching a movie in a pillow foot

sanic: pillow foot

punk ass bitch:  **pillow foot**

Tiny Giant Kin:  _ pillow foot _

Tsukishima: *cocks gun* shut your fucking mouths

Yama Yama: god I would love to snuggle in pillow fort

Tsukishima: ohfh

punk ass bitch: that was almost a keyboard smash the gay part of Tsukishima is coming out

Tsukishima:  **Alexa kill this clown**

Yama Yama: gnskykskgmekrkaktkwktkskf Tsukki

Tsukishima: yea?

**Yama Yama** _has changed_ **Tsukishima** _'s name to_ **Tsukki-Kun**

Tsukki-Kun:  **_Yamaguchi no_ **

Yama Yama: b- but Tsukki uwu

sanic: he hasn't changed it yet because of 2 reasons

sanic: 1. He's on his way to murder you

sanic: 2. He's dying because he finds it kinda cute-

Tiny Giant Kin: I can't believe that Tsukishima killed Noya

press f for respects: rest in piss Nishinoya

please say sike: finally

Tiny Giant Kin: fnsmtmsltmslfmslfk

Yacchan: hhhhhhhhhh girls pretty

punk ass bitch: kin

Father: please sleep

punk ass bitch: but its loving women hour??????

Yacchan: every hour is loving women hour

punk ass bitch: this is pan/lesbian solidarity

Yacchan: oh??????? God ur right

Father: I'm gay please just sleep

Tiny Giant Kin: are we talking about loving girls???????

Yacchan: of course

Tiny Giant Kin: nice

Father: wait who added Nishinoya & Tanaka back into the chat anyways

Tiny Giant Kin: I thought it was a joke. I thought the joke was over

Tiny Giant Kin: I'm so sorry father please don't be disappointed in me :_(((((((((

Father: everyone makes mistakes I'm proud of u

**Father** _changed the chat name to_ **Murder of Crows**

punk ass bitch: hmmmm don't like that

Father: its the actual term what do you mean Tanaka

punk ass bitch: I know but it just seems intimidating

**Tsukki-Kun** _changed the chat name to_ **Murder of Crow :)))))))))**

punk ass bitch:  _ oh I really don't fucking like that _

Tsukki-Kun:  **_then sleep :)))))))))))_ **

punk ass bitch: but why should I  _ Tsukki-kun _

Tsukki-Kun: :)))))))))))))

Tsukki-Kun: watch ur back bitch

punk ass bitch: ;))))))

Yama Yama: I'm gonna have nightmares because of this encounter 

**Tiny Giant Kin** _added_ **owo kenma uwu** _to the group chat_

owo kenma uwu: H- hewwo owo

Tsukki-Kun: Hinata I'm gonna strangle you

owo kenma uwu: uhhh no u won't, thot

punk ass bitch: h- HEWWO THEWE 

please say sike: just read my url

please say sike: I'm gonna die here Daichi take me home

please say sike: Daichi please save me

Father: there's no saving us son

owo kenma uwu: Hinata said someone had a fursona I'm interested

Anxious on Main: that's me 

Anxious on Main: my fursona is a bunny who gets over his anxiety with the help of his bird and dog boyfriends 

owo kenma uwu: oh my god if you have a picture of him please send that's so cute

Yama Yama: remember what I said??????? Y'all remember how I said that some fursona’s are cute??????? I'm right

suuuuugga: Asahi!!!!!! Ur so cute ily fnsnfmsmcmdk

Father: wait a fucking minute 

Father: Asahi….. Baby please tell me that the feathersona boyfriend isn't supposed to be me

Anxious on Main: uhhhhhh no he wears glasses

Father: I'm crying Asahi that's so fucking weird and oddly sweet????

punk ass bitch: wait I thought that Ennoshita was 3rd dad

punk ass bitch: I have 4 dads now????? Wack

Tiny Giant Kin:  _ sometimes a family is 4 fathers, 2 cryptic cousins, 3 naruto stans, an undertale fanboy, a king, 1 son, 1 daughter and a cat _

owo kenma uwu: wait who's the 3rd naruto stan

punk ass bitch: Kiyoko

Father: wait Kiyoko is a naruto stan????

punk ass bitch: yeah that's why me and noya must protect her at all costs

sanic: that and wlw/mlm solidarity

punk ass bitch: and all that loving and respecting women juice were drinking

sanic: all this shit is already inherently apart of Naruto culture tho?????

punk ass bitch:  **fuck broski ur right**

Father: wait... I thought naruto was straight

sanic:  **_oh you couldn't be more fucking wrong buddy_ **

**sanic** _has changed their username to_ **naruto is gay**

punk ass bitch: noya please fucking marry me

naruto is gay: in due time babe ;))))))))

punk ass bitch: oh my god broski I'm blushing <3

owo kenma uwu: and Koruu thought both of you were straight…… 

punk ass bitch: what a dumbass bitch

naruto is gay: he probably thinks naruto is cishet culture ://///////

owo kenma uwu: no he's just a dumbass gay

enno-shit-a: 183 messages at 2 am……

enno-shit-a:  _ * _ touches dirt* something bad happened here...

enno-shit-a: sleep now bitches

punk ass bitch: goodnight dads!!

Father: oh thank god I can sleep again


End file.
